The Taste Of War

Once again, I’ve been quiet for quite a while.  I know I don’t have to explain myself to anyone.  I don’t have many readers (not that I am complaining), and those who frequently drop by to read my blog are like me….have a real life somewhere beyond this virtual reality life.  We are dealing with everyday challenges and obstacles that come our way.  So I know, you…my reader will understand.

Almost 2 months ago, we were shaken by a ‘taste of war’ when a group of people from the neighboring country has invaded our beloved land and brutally killing 9 person of our security forces.  To those of you who are Malaysian, I wonder how deeply impacted you are by the incident?

All my life, I only see the face of war on tv and heard stories from my parents about war they have witnessed in the past.  And to me, it’s seems so far away beyond place and time from me, that I thought it would never reached me in this lifetime. And when I choose to marry an army, I put all the worries aside for the same reason.  Well….how wrong I was!

I didn’t come face to face with that war of course but being an army wife I have a licked of it’s bitter taste. We are not living in the affected area and my husband was not the one fighting on the front line (Thank God), but the worries and anxiety I feel was in optimum level as well, as rumors has it that security forces is being the main target. I remember he was suddenly called on duty in the middle of night and the next thing I know he called me saying he doesn’t know when they will be allowed to go home as they have to stand guard 24 hours every day. By the second day, armies with weapon were started patrolling our housing area in the garrison day and night and I heard hundreds of armies were arrived from another state to strengthen the defense in our garrison and also this whole island. I know I should be glad but at the same time I realize how serious the situations were. Those time, I really hate when the night comes.  That was when my fear hit the highest point. In fact, the first three nights…I couldn’t bring my eyes to sleep.  There is a lot of things on my mind.  I am worried about the safety of my family in Sandakan, worried about myself and my baby and most of all…I am so worried of the safety of my husband. And being alone with only my little one, it was so stressful since I have no one to talk to. There is no way I can describe the horrible feeling except I cried every night while praying to God for His great protection.

It turn out that my husband was only allowed to come home for the first time after 3 days.  And it’s only for an hour each day (day time). And after that it increased to 3 hours a day.  I couldn’t remember when they were finally allowed to go home as usual but it’s more than a month of course and it’s enough to make my husband become a stranger to my baby and me being thought a good lesson.

Nowadays there is not much news about the incident.  And the last time they mentioned about it, they said everything is in control.  How true is that?  Being an army wife and was being in a worse situation before, I couldn’t bring myself from being skeptical. Well…let’s just hope and pray that it’s really over.  May God protect us Malaysian, and may God heal and restore the peace in our country. God bless upon all of us!!!