The Day I stopped Dancing.

I always love dancing.  For some people who know me very well, they know that I like dancing.  Dancing is actually one of my passions. Not that I was trained professionally and I am not saying I am a great dancer.  But I am good in hearing the beat of music. So…I can do some good move a bit.  But what am I trying to talk about here is not that kind of dancing.  It is more on… dances related to exercise in order to lose weight.

I am actually been struggling with my weight for quite a long time.  I am a food lover and at the same time an exercise hater.  And to make it worse, I am a kind of person who turned to food to comfort myself in stressful moment. So, that explains it so well.  I have tried tons of slimming products.  Some of it were good and some of it were bad.  In fact…there are few that had quite a dangerous effect too. Diarrhea, insomnia, head ache…to name a few. And I still fail to lose my weight.  That time I always blame all the products but, I guess you and I know why I was failed to lose my weight.  hehehe

Then one day…a few months after I got married, my sister who is also struggling with her weight, introduced me to a slimming product.  She also told me in order to make the program successful, I have to learn to watch my diet and do some good exercise too.  I was reluctant in the beginning but eventually convinced when I saw her changes.  So, I give it a try and ask her to guide me.

She became my ‘partner in crime’.  We do the program together.  Consume the product, watch our diet and as for exercise, we do the aerobic using the DVD…every morning and evening…everyday. We live in a different house but it feels like we were doing it together for we keep on updating each other on our progress.  Well…we were progressing very well.  She lost almost 20kg and I lost 12kg in less than 6 months.  We were so excited and that moment, we were seems so unstoppable!

But then…tragedy struck!  One morning, as I was preparing myself for a morning exercise, my dad found my mom collapse and unconscious at our parking lot below the house.  5 days later, she leaves us.  Since then I don’t dance (aerobic) anymore.  I tried a few times…but I just cannot go on.  It’s like I am seeing her sitting there watching me and give some comments and encouragement like last time.  My sister also stopped dancing.  I think she feels the same way I was feeling.

I know, this sounds like a broken record. I keep on repeating this story over and over again, make it as an excuse.   But the truth is, losing my mom was a turning point in my life.  I feel my entire life…the colorful life I have built all this while, turning upside down, blown up and all the pieces fall all around me.  I lose my confidence, I am suddenly feels so insecure, I am so scared to dream and suddenly I feel so small in this big world. I even so scared to go out and meet new people. I just feel so lost without her.   And the old habit came back and I was so weak and helpless to fight it.  So eventually I gain weight again…slowly at first.  And after giving birth to my son, my eating habit was totally out of control.  And now I gain much more than before I started the program with my sister.

But….I am so excited to share this with you lovely friends.  After 4 years of struggling with the grieves and this lazy butt…..I HAVE STARTED DANCING AGAIN!!!!!  Ohh yeahhh…and I like it so much.  Actually, it’s been quite sometimes that I want to enroll myself in dancing class.  I have seen a few dance class advertisements (belly dance and zumba) here in Labuan.  But though I did call for some inquiry, I keep on postponing it since I don’t have anyone to accompany me.  But, 2 weeks ago…after much encouragement from my husband and after summoning all the little strength, confidence and fighting spirits that was left in me, I just put on my aerobic attire and walk in on that fitness studio and register myself for whatever they have offered that suits my schedule. And now, I am taking a 3 times a week classes that consist of zumba, bokwa, aerobic and aerodance with 3 different instructors.  And yes, I am training myself to watch my diet too.

All I can say is…IT IS SO FUN and I feel like I am addicted to it! This kind of exercise really suits my liking.  I am not into sports person but I like dancing.  And all of these classes are actually a dancing class.  So, we go there actually for sweating by just dancing.  I like the new friends I met there too.  They are all so friendly and I really like the positive energy vibrating in that room. I am so glad I took the courage to step in on that fitness studio that day.  It was just a small step I take but surely it’s a step that brings me one step further away from my cloudy days. 

So...how about trying 2 hours non-stop of fitness dance?  Bring it on...I have tried it, it's fun and great!